Fluff, Thriller

The Quickie – James Patterson – 0/10 (DNF)

 “A kind of pleading in his almond-shaped brown eyes”

Oh wow is this book awful. Someone took a cliché dictionary out of the library, cobbled every entry together into something like a cop thriller, and put a famous name on the front cover.

The protagonist, Lauren, is a hypocritical adulterous whiner who has an affair… to teach her cheating husband a lesson. Um… ironic, much? So when this revenge turns out to be full of salmonella and gunshot rather than being served cold, it’s pretty tough to have any sympathy for her.

Oh, but never mind the conflict of interest in the upcoming prosecution case, she’s the best, she’s going to take it… “Bronx assistant DAs practically fought to take my cases because they could just about read my reports aloud for their prosecutions“. For someone who’s so bullish about her own abilities, she uses a whole lotta qualifiers in that sentence.

Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. I promise never to open another novel bearing the James Patterson brand as long as I live. For my penance, I agree to rid my shelves of this rot.

(seriously, it’s too bad even for BookMooch. I’m going to leave them on the Tube.)

Additional info:
This was… I don’t even know. Part of a box purchase?
Publisher: Headline, 407 pages (paperback)
Don’t order The Quickie from Amazon, but if you do, this is an affiliate link – I will be paid a small percentage of your purchase price if you use this link, which goes towards giveaways.
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11 thoughts on “The Quickie – James Patterson – 0/10 (DNF)”

    1. So I threw out the 5 books of his I had (or rather, left them above my apartment block’s mailboxes with a note saying Free Books). I thought about keeping Along Came A Spider, which is supposed to be one of his really iconic works, but I opened to a random page and the writing was just as cliché-riddled as The Quickie had been.

  1. LOL to your review. I used to devour Patterson books back in my 20’s but the few I have read in recent years have been, for the most part, absolutely dire. I did read this one in a few hours on holiday about 3 years ago but I can’t remember a thing about it or even what I thought of it. I tend to read about one a year now and they’re mostly bad but funny-bad, but when they’re bad-bad they’re horrid!

  2. I find it exhausting to read works full of cliched impressions.
    I like Marcel Proust’s idea that artistic style is as much about a quality of seeing as anything else – a depth of feeling and reflection on the world. This quality (or otherwise) of the author’s vision, Proust argued, reflects itself in the text.
    I have not read any James Patterson. Based on your review, I won’t bother.

  3. Agree entirely about Patterson – I read “Run For Your Life” on holiday last year. I did finish it, but only because I was on a long-haul flight and it was something to do.

    Love the review, especially “Don’t order The Quickie from Amazon, but if you do…”

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